October 21st, 2014

rabioheab:

my dog was supposed to be a police dog but he failed the training for it because he was too much of a wimp. the trainers said that when he was supposed to be attacking dummies he’d run up to them and roll over and wag his tail and they also said he was the worst failure they’d ever seen 

(via weirdos-are-awesome)

jin-nyeh:

avalooshe:

Crying

ya dingus

(via weloveshortvideos)

oddbagel:

jaxtellerhelps:

tuckedshirts:

pretendersrpa:

slippingintoacomabored:

traumacomplex:

no but imagine the tally marks turning black if their love is requited.

and then imagine the tally marks becoming a scar when the one they love dies.

Imagine someone with no tally marks meeting someone with 50 tally marks

Imagine someone with no tally marks starting to like someone with all tally marks scarred 

imagine aromantics with no tally marks laughing at this tally mark bullshit system
imagine someone afraid of being in love suddenly getting a tally mark
imagine someone married with a single nice black tally mark has a new one just appear
imagine someone with a single scarred mark that refuses to love again gets a new mark and it’s black
imagine someone who falls in love too easily having a lot of marks
imagine nurses at old people homes taking care of people with scarred marks, black marks, and no marks

oddbagel:

jaxtellerhelps:

tuckedshirts:

pretendersrpa:

slippingintoacomabored:

traumacomplex:

no but imagine the tally marks turning black if their love is requited.

and then imagine the tally marks becoming a scar when the one they love dies.

Imagine someone with no tally marks meeting someone with 50 tally marks

Imagine someone with no tally marks starting to like someone with all tally marks scarred 

imagine aromantics with no tally marks laughing at this tally mark bullshit system

imagine someone afraid of being in love suddenly getting a tally mark

imagine someone married with a single nice black tally mark has a new one just appear

imagine someone with a single scarred mark that refuses to love again gets a new mark and it’s black

imagine someone who falls in love too easily having a lot of marks

imagine nurses at old people homes taking care of people with scarred marks, black marks, and no marks

(Source: thvnderfox, via guy-with-the-golden-pun)

(Source: memewhore, via k999)

rogueavantgarde:

vinegod:

How to get out of saying the “L” word by Victory Brinker

😂😭😭😂

(via skeletontrash)

claireisrad:

huntreskates:

THIS IS SO SICK


#first

claireisrad:

huntreskates:

THIS IS SO SICK

#first

(Source: elpolloloc, via fuckshamylifeway)

saddeer:

waterlilays:

weloveshortvideos:

When you hit the blunt before you go on the air… 

this always gets me

the best

(via lampsarepeopletoo)

koobaxion:

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”

(via cleverbutmeh)

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

(via somethingthatisntwitty)

October 20th, 2014

mak-o:

ARE YOU TODAY’S DATE?

BECAUSE YOURE 10/10

(via fuckingfunny)

ryuzaki21121:

lolzpicx:

The weirdest vintage Halloween costumes

They just straddle the line between silly and horrifying

(Source: deathnervezine, via black-ink-wolf)

oomshi:

vegay:

dONT BE A TEACHER IF U DON’T LIKE FUCKING KIDS????

this can be taken two ways

(Source: plnts, via guy)

rubyandhergingercat:

stupih:

my hero

This is a better Superman movie than the entirety of Man of Steel. 

(Source: nillyandthefunkybunch, via waffles-and-tea)

theinnkeeperlibrarian:

leepacey:

a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)

That’s exactly the appropriate response.

(via fuckyeahloldemort)